Texas toast?

You gotta love Texas Governor-turned-Emperor Ricky Perry's Texas Two Step. During his do-si-do with neo-cons at a big Tea Party event on April 15, he played to a crowd calling for secession from the United States.

Now how un-American is all that? Texas Republicans were at the front of the line in Washington to saddle the United States with the biggest debt in the country's history, they worked hard to destroy the economy, lock us into the most expensive war ever and generally make the world hate us. Now, a new administration has come to clean up the mess and keep the country from seeing its citizens starve to death, homeless in the streets, and folks no longer want to pay the taxes the Republican president and Congress saddled us with. And Texas wants out of the union.

If these were Obama or Hillary supporters at these events, it'd be called treason. Letting Texas take its hate state mentality on the road seems like a pretty good idea at this point.

feels sorry for the trees that leafed early in March, froze, releafed last week and are losing new growth again. Forget any apples in Denver

For the second time in weeks, Texans are talking about secession. I don't hear any objections.

just finished Ken Follett's "Pillars" novel. Kind of an Atlas Shrugged set in Medieval England or "Ye Old Days of Our Lives. Don't bother.

I wonder if Martha Stewart and Joe Nacchio might share an inside joke on all of this some day.

My Texas Toast

Well that settles it. It’ll be best for all concerned if Texas secedes from the Union.
Chuck Norris, a fine, fine actor and obviously an equally skilled political leader, wrote in a blog that he would be interested in running for president of the Lone Star state, should it unbuckle itself from the other rabidly liberal 49 states.
“I may run for president of Texas,” Norris said in his WorldNetDaily.com opinion. “That need may be a reality sooner than we think. If not me, someone someday may again be running for president of the Lone Star state, if the state of the union continues to turn into the enemy of the state.”
Hmmm. Where can I sign that petition?
I can’t imagine why Norris wants out of the union. It seems like the other 49 would get the best part of that deal. Maybe it’s that pesky U.S. Constitution thing he doesn’t like. Do they want to execute people without any trial down there? Not pay one got-durned penny in taxes to them revenooers? Deport anyone who doesn’t speak English, at least as good as they do?
Out of fairness to both sides, of course, New Mexico would have to annex Austin, but as for Lubbock, Dallas and every gun-totin’, immigrant-hatin’, Huckabee-lovin’ town in between, I wish them luck with the Republic of Texas. Please don’t feel the need to visit, annual e-mail updates will suffice.

So long, sucker

Let me tell you, 13 is a hard age for parents and adolescents alike. Isabella had a tiff on Valentine's Day with her, ummm, boyfriend. I still have problems with that word.

Guys are such jerks.

Anyway, to save her from terminal sullenness, my wife suggested we take Isabella to see Twilight, which I cannot believe she has not yet seen. This girl has read ALL the books, SEVERAL times. It turns out the boyfriend has as much interest in this flick as do I.

So off we go to the cheapo theater to sit in, I kid you not, a PACKED theater months after this film was first released. Patrons were visibly tense in anticipation of what was to come: vampire love.

Oy.

I never struggled with inappropriate laughter so hard in my life. The woman in front of me was crying because she was so touched by the vampire love thing. Tears were streaming down my face snickering over tree-climbing, blood-sucking, puppy-eyed stalkers who had the worst case of psoriasis I'd ever seen.

I never got into the Ann Rice thing either, but at least with those stories, you got to spend time in Romantic and mysterious New Orleans. This movie drags you to the dreariest part of the Northwest where there's so many things besides vampires to suck the life right out of you. Halfway through this very, very long movie, I was ready to pound a stake through my own heart.

On the way into the cinema, I said to Isabella, "Do you know how much I love you that I would go see this movie? Now I have to break it to her that I don't love her enough to see the sequel. Sorry. I'll upgrade your cellphone or something. Parenting is hard in ways you never expect.