Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Monday, May 18, 2009
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Betchya love it
How rich is this? Sarah Palin promises to write her memoirs next year. Really, is there nothing this woman won't do to ensure she never runs for public office again?
Please, oh please, let me write the title for what promises to be the definitive work on America's favorite piece of work?
Try these on for size:
Please, oh please, let me write the title for what promises to be the definitive work on America's favorite piece of work?
Try these on for size:
"Darned If It Really Isn't All About Me,"
"They Call Me Salmon-Ella,"
"Kids Say The Darnedest Things On TV Talk Shows,"
"Sarah!!! Nonfiltered At Last,"
"Chocolate Moose and Wolfs Too: Recipes for A Conservative Paradise,"
"God I Hate That Tina Fey,"
"Six Packs For Success,"
"Crazy Like A Box,"
"With Skeletons Like These, Who Needs Closets?"
"When I Am President: The End Of Newspapers"
and my favorite:"Everything I Know I Learned In Kindergarten, Really"
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
OMG. How dum r u?
OMG. How dum r u?
You've got to ask that question after the state senate yesterday gutted a bill meant to get cell phones out of the hands of people behind the wheel of a car.
The state House had heroically passed a compromise bill that didn't ban the use of cell phones in a car, it just said that you couldn't use the kind of phone that made you take your hands off the wheel and your eyes off the road and spend 30 seconds or scrolling through dozens of phone numbers only to have to punch in the right buttons as you blazed at the speed of light along Interstate 225. If you simply must maneuver around other blabbing baboons on the interstate as you tell your wife, "Now I'm at Colfax. What's for dinner? Now I'm at Sixth Avenue. I'm so tired. Now I'm at Alameda and the traffic is — OH MY GOD. That jerk almost took me out. He's too busy talking on his stupid cell phone to ..." you would have to do it using a hands-free cell phone.
Making those demands on Colorado motorists , mostly Republican members of the Senate said, makes for too much "nannyism."
I can only thank God that juggling and accordions aren't as popular as cell phones because, clearly, your GOP state senators would think those are perfectly fine ways of passing the time as you navigate through school zones and perky little intersections like the one at Havana and Mississippi.
So these Live Free Or Die Hard members of the GOP agreed that it's not nannyistic to forbid teenagers from using cell phones while driving, just adults.
Talk about hypocrisy. You know full well these folks hand their cell phones to their teenagers several times a week in hopes they can make them work right. Teenagers can skateboard, listen to music, flirt and study for a chemistry final all while texting their pals in the rain. I know for a fact that the bulk of my fellow geezers down on the floor of the Senate pretty much have to silence the room while sitting in their big-blue chairs dozing off just to ANSWER their cell phones. There's a lot of mouth opening, shushing and redials involved in making a call. These are folks who probably shouldn't be able to sit in the Legislature and vote while they have their cell phones, let alone drive.
So you think that's pretty dumb? There's more.
Senate Republicans believe you should be able to knit a sweater or work the NY Times crossword puzzle while you're flying along Parker Road, but it's not too nannyistic to forbid everybody from texting and driving.
Wait for it. Wait for it. Wait for it.
Ding.
So how, do you think police or anyone else will be able to easily tell whether some idiot on wheels is texting or calling as they weave down E-470, and just how different are those tasks at 75 miles per hour?
Can you hear me now, Senate Republicans?
This guy can't. State Sen. Shawn Mitchell, Far-R, Broomfield, told the Denver Post yesterday that we must protect the citizens from an overprotective government.Oy. This from a state Senate that repeatedly kills seat-belt law enforcement because it might turn police officers into fire-breathing KKK members seeking out scofflaw blacks and Hispanics for recreational roadside beratings.
"I'm glad we throttled back our paternalism," Mitchell told the Post. "I still think this is a misguided effort to protect people from themselves."
Wrong again, senator. The measure was going to protect us from you. For the sake of us all. Hang up and vote.
You've got to ask that question after the state senate yesterday gutted a bill meant to get cell phones out of the hands of people behind the wheel of a car.
The state House had heroically passed a compromise bill that didn't ban the use of cell phones in a car, it just said that you couldn't use the kind of phone that made you take your hands off the wheel and your eyes off the road and spend 30 seconds or scrolling through dozens of phone numbers only to have to punch in the right buttons as you blazed at the speed of light along Interstate 225. If you simply must maneuver around other blabbing baboons on the interstate as you tell your wife, "Now I'm at Colfax. What's for dinner? Now I'm at Sixth Avenue. I'm so tired. Now I'm at Alameda and the traffic is — OH MY GOD. That jerk almost took me out. He's too busy talking on his stupid cell phone to ..." you would have to do it using a hands-free cell phone.
Making those demands on Colorado motorists , mostly Republican members of the Senate said, makes for too much "nannyism."
I can only thank God that juggling and accordions aren't as popular as cell phones because, clearly, your GOP state senators would think those are perfectly fine ways of passing the time as you navigate through school zones and perky little intersections like the one at Havana and Mississippi.
So these Live Free Or Die Hard members of the GOP agreed that it's not nannyistic to forbid teenagers from using cell phones while driving, just adults.
Talk about hypocrisy. You know full well these folks hand their cell phones to their teenagers several times a week in hopes they can make them work right. Teenagers can skateboard, listen to music, flirt and study for a chemistry final all while texting their pals in the rain. I know for a fact that the bulk of my fellow geezers down on the floor of the Senate pretty much have to silence the room while sitting in their big-blue chairs dozing off just to ANSWER their cell phones. There's a lot of mouth opening, shushing and redials involved in making a call. These are folks who probably shouldn't be able to sit in the Legislature and vote while they have their cell phones, let alone drive.
So you think that's pretty dumb? There's more.
Senate Republicans believe you should be able to knit a sweater or work the NY Times crossword puzzle while you're flying along Parker Road, but it's not too nannyistic to forbid everybody from texting and driving.
Wait for it. Wait for it. Wait for it.
Ding.
So how, do you think police or anyone else will be able to easily tell whether some idiot on wheels is texting or calling as they weave down E-470, and just how different are those tasks at 75 miles per hour?
Can you hear me now, Senate Republicans?
This guy can't. State Sen. Shawn Mitchell, Far-R, Broomfield, told the Denver Post yesterday that we must protect the citizens from an overprotective government.Oy. This from a state Senate that repeatedly kills seat-belt law enforcement because it might turn police officers into fire-breathing KKK members seeking out scofflaw blacks and Hispanics for recreational roadside beratings.
"I'm glad we throttled back our paternalism," Mitchell told the Post. "I still think this is a misguided effort to protect people from themselves."
Wrong again, senator. The measure was going to protect us from you. For the sake of us all. Hang up and vote.
Friday, May 1, 2009
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